Silent Suffering
by Genis Irving
Summary: (Angst, GenisXLloyd, RaineXColette) Genis was always the smart one, who thought he understood everything - except for his emotions. But when they were revealed and everything seemed good, the innocent would have to suffer in silence...
1. My Quiet Suffering

Title: Silent Suffering  
Fanfiction Of: Tales of Symphonia  
Author: Zelloss  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Tales of Symphonia doesn't belong to me. It and every single part of it belong to Koei and whoever else made the game. So sniff Genis isn't mine sniff sniff. You've been so informed! This is also AU – I very much doubt any of this could seriously happen in the game...  
Warnings: Uh, like, Shonen-Ai (boy love) and heavy angst, so you might wanna watch it! There's also a bit of Shojo-Ai (suggested RaineXColette) near the end. Rated R for some of the touchy subject matter involved.  
Summary: Genis was always small, strong-minded, and smart. He always knew what to do. What his physical strength lacked, his magical powers made up. But none of his strengths could help him to overcome his emotional confusion... GenisXLloyd  
Spoilers: Not really – it's very early on in the game...  
  
-- My Quiet Suffering --

"Hey, Colette? You still awake?"

The moment Genis had heard that, he had awoken. It was almost an instinct for him. He lay there, listening, as Lloyd stepped right past him, unaware that the boy or anyone else was awake, and walked towards the hill nearby.

Quietly, Genis rolled over, though he knew he shouldn't torture himself so. His lilac locks fell over his eyes, and he blew them out of his vision, so he could get a look.

He saw Lloyd approaching Colette, who was standing there. She had fainted after unsealing the Water Seal, and now everyone, like his big sister, was paying extra attention to her.

"Yeah... I couldn't sleep"

"Well, even if you feel good now, you should still get some rest" Lloyd stated, calmly.

"...Sorry. Alright, I'll get to sleep..."

"Okay. Good night, Colette" Lloyd smiled, as the angel girl walked away, towards their camp, falling asleep in her corner.

Soft wind blew, picking up Lloyd's hair, as he stood there, continuing his duty on watch. Genis simply watched him, half-sleepily, but intently. Lloyd seemed to just be staring out towards the moon, standing blankly, his twin sheaths hanging off his loose red armour at his belt, his legs slightly spread.

Genis' mind slowly slipped out of focus, from the present to the past, remembering things Lloyd had done...

"...I don't understand this at all..."

"...Hey, Genis? Can you help me with this?"

"Shut up, Genis!"

The last thought of his voice came with the memories of a stinging skull. How many times had Lloyd and Raine hit him? They were being playful, nice, trying to improve him. Genis knew that.

...When Raine hit him, it didn't matter. She was his older sister, and they had always been like that. Genis was always envious of his older sister – she was smarter, more talented, had the looks, the age... she had nearly everything Genis could want. He knew she was his superior, and for that, he allowed to her to hit him. Besides, she didn't hit that hard.

But with Lloyd, it was always a different story. His whole body hurt when Lloyd hit him, but it wasn't just because Lloyd was so much physically stronger than him. Lloyd wasn't being playful, he never considered Genis to be much more than a smart-ass and a half-decent spellcaster. That was why Genis was along. He was Lloyd's underling, who just needed to be disciplined when he spoke up.

...The thoughts hurt Genis more than anything, because it was what he believed to be the truth. What he knew to be the truth. Genis had tried to stop Lloyd from doing stupid things a lot, he had tried so hard... but Lloyd would simply smack him a good one and Genis would be forced to shut up and follow along like a good little pet.

...That hurt so much, because Genis looked up to Lloyd. No, Genis did more than that.

He loved Lloyd, despite all the punishment, the rejection, the rudeness that Lloyd was showing him.

And he hated himself for being in love with Lloyd. He couldn't tell Lloyd – the boy was after Colette, Lloyd would never even think about poor little Genis, who was at least three or four years younger than Lloyd! Genis hated himself for loving Lloyd, putting up with all the punishment without ever complaining to Lloyd...

"...I hate it all..." Genis muttered, softly, curling up on the grass, slightly on his way to sobbing, before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Lloyd's hand. Genis forced his eyes to shut tight, resisting the opportunity to look up at the one he hated to love.

Hope rose in him, though. Was Lloyd up to something? Why would he bother Genis... had heard him? Did Lloyd need to tell him something...?

Then that disillusion was erased quickly as Lloyd spoke.

"Hey, Genis. Wake up. It's your turn on watch"

Genis cursed mentally. He had barely slept at all, and now he was gonna be up for even more hours... what a pain in the ass. And worse yet, he had allowed his hopes to get up, and then even if they had only been there for a moment, they were shattered and were raining right back down on him.

"...Ungh..." Genis muttered a guttural noise as he slowly got up, pretending to be awakening from a deep sleep. "Fine... fine, Lloyd..."

"I'm gonna catch some Zs... night" Lloyd waved, before retreating to a secluded corner of the small area, a distance from the firelight, and flopping down.

Genis decided quickly to go for a walk, as tempted as he was to watch Lloyd sleep. He knew better than that. It'd only stir up troublesome thoughts, and then those would have to be broken too...

He hated the cycle. Hated it with a passion. What was the point, anyway? Ever since he had met Lloyd, he had been taken with the older boy. It was rough. He knew he had to stop those thoughts, so he had begun to study everything and anything, whatever he could get his hands on, in order to find some distraction from Lloyd, to forget about him for even a moment... and it had worked. He rarely saw Lloyd except for in school (he never allowed himself the luxury/torture of meeting with Lloyd outside of that time) and the rest of his time was taken up.

But now that they were journeying like this... he saw Lloyd constantly. They were travelling together, fighting together, eating together, and because of the rules his sister had put in about having two rooms, he was forced to sleep in the same room – sometimes even in the same bed – as his darling Lloyd. And he couldn't do a thing about it, he couldn't study at all because they were on this stupid journey...

Genis felt a rush of cool air suddenly, and stopped his pacing.

How far had he gone? He had travelled so far, lost in his memories and thoughts, that he could hear the sounds of the sea, crashing against the rocks below the cliff he was now standing upon. Nervously, he looked down.

The walls were steep, perfectly vertical, and Genis remembered reading about places such as these. Steep cliffs... what were they called? Many places in the world had them, but supposedly the top layer of soil was very unstable, since it had so little supporting it. In fact, a whole section of land such as this could cave at any given moment.

Genis was hit by a surge of vertigo, and wobbled on the spot. Quickly, he retreated before the feeling got so strong he was afraid he would get sick, slip up, then fall...

And falls like that, he figured, would be fatal.

There was something relaxing and soothing about the sound of the waves slapping against the stone, and he found himself sitting down. He wondered idly if he shouldn't return, but the fact was, it was too dark. He had no clue which direction he had come from anymore, and how far he had travelled – he could be only minutes away, or... no, he couldn't be minutes away, he reasoned, or else they would have heard the sounds from where they were.

He must have travelled quite some distance. That left the other party members – his sister and his love among them – without a guard.

However, he felt almost too depressed to care. Being alone like this... he did truly feel alone, there wasn't anything within sight of him, among these barren hills. It made him feel so sad.

Reminding him of everything bad that had happened to him...

He curled up, whimpering softly, forgetting that he was out in the wilderness, forgetting the beasts and bandits that roamed the land, forgetting that the Desians could be trying to hunt them all down right now...

But what he really wanted to forget – his feelings for Lloyd – he found he couldn't.

"...I hate my life..." Genis muttered, slowly, his mind turning darker and darker. What was the point of going on? To Colette, sure, he was a good kid, but she never spoke to him much at all. The red-headed mercenary didn't seem to care much about anybody, forget Genis! And Raine and Lloyd both seemingly hated him...

Slowly, he stood up, stepping towards the cliff, standing there, toes on the edge, wondering if he should just let himself fall forward. He knew that the moment that he decided he would, there wouldn't be any stopping himself, gravity would pull him at such a rate that he'd be unable to turn back. And he was so young that the injuries and blood loss he'd suffer from the wounds in the rocks below would kill him, if he didn't get his skull and brain split open upon impact, get his heart pierced...

Something in his mind was stopping him from doing it, though. Something was tugging him back, and he knew what it was. Hope. Hope that maybe someday Lloyd would truly respect him and care for him the way that Genis wanted him to. Hope that maybe someday he could surpass his sister and have the right to hit someone instead of taking the blows.

And yet he hated hope. He hated it and hoped he could just lose it, because those false hopes kept getting shattered.

Still, that hope was too strong, and he knew that maybe he wasn't quite ready for this. He had his whole life in front of him, he knew it, there'd be another... wouldn't there? A chance for Genis to fall in love with someone else, to feel normal and loved and have children, perhaps...

..._I can't do this_, he told himself. _I still have way too much to live for, I'm too young..._ he stepped back from the edge, turning around.

To be staring face to face with the dark silhouette of a beast, looming dangerously over him, snarling something unholy. Whatever the hell it was, it was at least three times Genis' height, and it was hungry.

Nervously and on reflex, Genis stepped backwards, feeling with his heel that he was on the edge. Well, even if he didn't want to, he realised that there was nothing he himself could do in time. The beast was already extending one massive arm backwards to mutilate Genis – it was either be torn apart and knocked down, or go of his own free will.

Or fight back. Genis reached for his weapon, the odd armament he carried with him and that Lloyd had often called a 'toy' (Gods he hated that! This was no toy!). Removing it from his belt with all due haste, he moved it backwards, and then swung it hard, trying it hit the beast's head.

It connected, before the beast finished the swing, and the beast's massive claws just barely missed Genis' body. They didn't miss his clothing/armour, though, and they went straight through, unevenly, cutting a near-diagonal gash in his armour, and said armour fell off at his sides, revealing his young gut underneath.

_What kind of creature is it, if its claws are that sharp?_ Genis wondered, but he didn't have much time to study the beast. It was kill or be killed.

Genis whirled around, swinging the mace part as well as he could, driving it across the beast's chest area, receiving to his gratification a holler from the beast, as it leaned back, and then lifted one massive paw again to swipe at Genis.

Genis jumped, knowing that this time he didn't have the momentum to counterattack. Even though he had been pushing the beast forwards the whole time, away from the cliff, one bash from the claws of the beast sent him flying. Sharp, long claws had sliced open the sides of his armour and even a bit of his pants, causing them to become tattered, most of his upper clothing flying off, nothing holding it on anymore.

Blindly, he gripped for the edge, barely catching it as he flew past the edge of the cliff. It was hard to hold on – the cliff face was too flawless to be real, it seemed, it offered no purchase for his feet. His hands were barely holding onto the grass above him, already his arms were straining, his whole body was wracked with pain from cuts in his sides. He could hear faint splashes in the water below, which were almost covered by the sounds of the tide. The sounds of pieces of his armour splashing into the water.

Genis knew he himself might quickly be joining them.

Hopelessly, Genis looked up towards the beast above him, as it stood looming over the cliff.

Then it flew off the cliff, a howl coming from deep within it, as it was driven off the edge, flipped right off, and it flew down behind Genis. Genis braced himself, and the monster lashed out one final time, in an attempt to grab some purchase, and sliced down the back of Genis' leg, tearing the muscles and tendons. Genis screamed as loud as he could, his eyes closing and one of his hands slipping from the sheer pain of it all. He tried desperately to hold on, as he heard a powerful splash and holler from below him as the monster was wounded severely.

"Genis! Genis!!!"

Genis heard the voice. It was Lloyd. Had he been the one to attack the monster? It didn't matter, Genis realised quickly. The strain of his entire body weight on just a couple of his fingers was becoming too much. He thought he heard footsteps running towards him, but Lloyd wouldn't get there in time, Genis knew. He felt his fingers slip, felt the effects of gravity really begin to kick in.

_Well... this is it then_ he thought to himself, preparing to feel the impact against the water, but it never came.

Instead, he felt a strong hand grab onto his own wrist. He opened his eyes and looked up.

There was Lloyd, a strain on his face, halfway over the edge of the cliff, holding onto Genis' wrist with every muscle in his body.

"Lloyd!" Genis cried out, his emotions mixed on the matter. Most of him wanted to be so happy, that he was going to survive, because Lloyd was here... and Lloyd must have followed him... why? Was it possible Lloyd felt strong about Genis?

But the realistic part of him was pissed. Lloyd just had to keep torturing him! If Genis had've fallen or at the very least not been rescued, he could be dead by now! He wouldn't have to deal with such false hopes...

Genis almost wanted to let go, but the fact was he didn't have the choice. Lloyd was holding onto him, but it wasn't the other way around. Once again, he was completely at Lloyd's mercy.

"Genis, reach up here, I'm gonna pull you up" Lloyd commanded, and Genis followed, lifting his other arm.

It took a couple painful minutes, but finally, with a final, strong tug, Lloyd pulled up the lilac-haired boy, and was surprised when he got a good look at Genis. The boy's clothing was torn, parts of the armour were missing and nowhere to be seen... he was practically half-naked like that, and he was whimpering softly, his whole body bleeding.

It only half-surprised Lloyd when Genis jumped onto him, embracing him. "Lloyd... thank god... I was so scared... I was... I almost... oh Lloyd..."

Lloyd, trying to be friendly, returned the embrace, patting Genis lightly on the back. "There, there... Genis... it' s okay..."

"..." Genis didn't say anything else, instead, he thought of how warm he felt in Lloyd's arms. He knew that with all his wounds, he was going to die shortly anyway... even his sister probably didn't yet have the power to heal such wounds. If this was how he was to go... he already had accepted his fate. But like this... he would be happy to go...

"Here..." Lloyd pulled one arm off of Genis, thinking Genis seemed to whimper slightly louder at that (but it's just my imagination, he told himself), as he pulled a small bottle of Life Potion from his pocket.

"...I... Lloyd..." Genis almost was tempted to refuse it. But something about Lloyd was commanding, as usual, and he felt the strength and demand within Lloyd's request, so he gave in, grabbing the bottle and taking a swig, downing it.

He could feel the pain begin to ebb, feel his wounds already begin to heal. Damn those potions, Genis thought. They couldn't let somebody live in peace...

"...There, see?" Lloyd smiled. "All better."

Genis hated Lloyd, once again, for saying that. "Stop treating me like a kid, Lloyd" he growled, under his breath.

The problem was, he was close enough that Lloyd heard.

"...Genis? Is something wrong?"

"Everything's wrong, Lloyd" Genis sighed, the tears coming in his eyes, and he sobbed into Lloyd's red-clothed shoulder.

"...Genis... what's wrong? Tell me" Lloyd said.

Genis bit down on the fabric, then on his own lip, trying to force himself not to say anything. If he did... if he spoke any word now, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop, he knew he'd spill everything to Lloyd. And then what would he do? Lloyd would never accept it. Never even remotely. Genis would be heartbroken...

And then he wouldn't let Lloyd catch him. He'd go right off the edge and die, that's what he'd do, and he'd be happy to do it. Because then there wouldn't be anything still holding him to this world.

"Genis! Please..." Lloyd ran a hand softly through the smaller boy's hair. "I want to help you, Genis, but I can't, if you don't tell me anything..."

Genis forced himself not to speak. He knew that it would lead to his death. And he didn't want to, but... he knew that he could be irrational at times. Now his emotions were in charge, all it would take would be the slightest break in them...

"Genis..." Lloyd held the boy closer to him, as Genis continued to sob hopelessly. "Please... please, talk to me..."

"Lloyd..." Genis breathed out, and then he realised that was it. He had opened his mouth. Suddenly, everything came out. He pulled back from his love, stared him in the eye, and spoke.

"Lloyd... I wish you could understand... but you can't... because you don't feel the same way, I know you don't!"

"...Genis? What are you trying to say?" Lloyd asked, annoying Genis somewhat. Genis knew the boy was an idiot.

"Lloyd... I love you!"

Lloyd froze, all movement stopping. Lloyd even seemed to stop breathing. Genis' heart shattered.

_I knew it. He never even thought about it. All this time I've been hoping maybe he's loved me, and he doesn't..._

Genis pushed away from Lloyd, stepping blindly backwards, unafraid now of going off the edge that was only a short distance behind him – exactly how far he wasn't sure, but it couldn't be far...

"...And I knew it! That you couldn't even love me back..." Genis whispered, taking another step back. He wasn't sure of when he would go off the edge, but he wasn't scared to do it anymore. Any step now, he'd be off the edge.

"Genis... I never..."

"Like I said... you'd never love me... Lloyd..." Genis took another step backwards, and he felt the cool wind against his back, the same one that had startled him out of his thoughts and alerted him from walking off the edge the last time. This was it. One more step backwards...

"Genis, don't you dare!"

"...Why shouldn't I, Lloyd?" Genis asked, tearfully. "...I'm sorry, Lloyd, but... I've got no place here with any of you..."

Genis stepped back, and felt the warm air rising underneath his foot, escaping from the sea. This was it.

"Genis, don't!"

Suddenly, with speed Genis didn't know that Lloyd had, the older boy had got up and lunged for Genis, catching him by the wrist, as Genis started to let himself fall backwards.

"Damnit, Lloyd!" Genis shout, pushing out with his feet and flying off the edge, still caught in Lloyd's firm grip. His body flapped out a bit, before slamming into the harsh wall.

"Genis, what are you trying to prove!?" Lloyd shouted.

"I don't belong here! Not even my own sister treats me with any respect, I'm no good to any of you! Damnit, Lloyd, just let me go in peace!"

Lloyd seemed to freeze. "Why would you _want_ to die? I don't understand"

"Because you'll never care for me the same way I care for you, Lloyd! All of you four, you've got everything you could want, you have strength, wisdom... courage... things I'll never be able to have! I don't deserve to be with you, and I can't stand knowing that you don't love me back, Lloyd! I hate you even more for keeping me from being able to do this, please, just let me go!" Genis shouted, his voice choked, as he tried to struggle away.

Lloyd refused to let go, though he was silent for a moment, mentally fighting with himself. On one hand, Genis wanted it... Genis _wanted_ to die, and he had made it so clear to Lloyd...

But there was still the part that considered Genis a close, close friend... the part that would feel so much guilt if he ever let Genis go... the part that would never allow him to forgive himself, the part that told him Raine would be in tears, the part that told him that he could never look at himself in the mirror again...

The part that told him he would only follow Genis, if he did.

"...No, I won't let go" Lloyd shouted down. "Genis, I couldn't live with myself if I let you go!"

"You don't care for me, why should it matter to you?" Genis demanded, sharply.

"Genis, you're wrong! I do care about you! A lot! Please, don't do something stupid like this!"

Genis stopped struggling, as he listened to Lloyd's desperate pleas.

"Genis, what am I gonna tell everyone if you die? Am I gonna tell them that I just let you go because you asked to die on some stupid whim? What is your sister gonna think of me? Colette, hell, everyone in the world, will hate me. I'll hate me, Genis, if I let you go. 'Cause I love you too, Genis."

Genis seemed to freeze. In that instant, without Genis struggling anymore, Lloyd grabbed onto Genis' wrist with his other hand as well and hauled Genis up.

"...Lloyd..." Genis looked at him, blinded with tears. But they were no longer completely tears of sadness and hatred. "What did... you just say?"

"I said I could never live with myself if I let you go, 'cause I love you too, Genis" Lloyd answered, embracing the young violet-eyed boy.

Genis gasped, as Lloyd pulled him tightly close to him, dragging him away from the cliff edge.

"...Lloyd..." Genis gasped, as he looked up towards Lloyd, and the brunette put a small kiss on the young mage's forehead.

"...I'm sorry, Genis... I couldn't believe it when you said... you loved me too..."

"But... what about Colette?" Genis muttered out, his old tears being replaced by new tears, of pure joy and happiness, though he was still confused.

"...You know I don't really care for her, Genis... she's the chosen and all, but that's the only reason why she's interesting. Otherwise, she's just a shy little weakling..."

"Then why me? I'm no different from her..."

"You're much stronger than she is, Genis" Lloyd whispered softly. "Your strength comes not from some stupid angel heritage but from your own hard work... you're smarter than I could ever be in a million years, and you have the courage to fight even when it's just you by yourself... Genis, I don't see why you think so low of yourself..."

"...Oh Lloyd..." Genis choked out, and Lloyd grabbed onto the boy's chin, lifting it up to plant a kiss on the boy's lips.

The two seemed to disappear into the moment, losing themselves in their first true ?"

"...I can't believe... and here I was thinking he might be in love with me..." Colette sighed, watching the two from a distance. Genis' older sister and her hired mercenary were with her.

"I'm gonna hurt Genis bad for this! Running off and leaving us unguarded while we slept! We could've been killed!" Raine complained. "And for what? This?"

"...Raine, forgive him. Look at him. He's had a rough time, don't you think he deserves something?"

"...Yes, Colette. I'm sorry" Raine sighed, as Colette wrapped an arm around her.

"No, I'm sorry. You're still learning."

"Don't act like you're my teacher, Colette" Raine muttered. "You know I'm the teacher around here..."

"...Sorry, but it's true... you do still have a lot to learn..." Colette giggled.

Behind them, there was a rough male sigh, and somebody wandered off, muttering something along the lines of "this is getting stupid"  
-------------------------  
A/N: Like, if you've got this far, please leave a review and tell me what you thought! Keep in mind obvious flames are gonna be doused with Genis' Spread spell, so just forget about doing that. And if you want me to continue, I'd be quite happy to! .


	2. On The Road

A/N: Okay, I really wasn't quite sure how to continue this story Because it's supposed to be Angst fiction, and it's not really that anymore! Because there's nothing else to be angsty about! So, yeah! Though there is a bit. There's also some rather rough language here... but nothing too bad. Besides, this is R rated, so things like this should be expected... I also decided to take a bit more of a 'mature' look at their relationship between here (Don't get scared, it's nothing dangerous!) and there's also a fair amount of comedy now. After all, I can write that for a bit, considering this is a 'happy period' in which everything is working out fine (so it seems). And yeah!

**To my happy reviewers:** Congratulations, you guys actually convinced me to write some more...

**To the one who wasn't happy, and anyone who might have picked up on these as well...**

-How far am I into the game? Why didn't the characters match how they are later in the story?  
_ Actually, if you read it, I said I was about 7-8 hours in . This story is written a short while after the Water Seal was released - in particular, the night after the Book of Spiritua was finally read. Character development, relationships, etc. after that are totally forgotten about. And I bet I'm not the only Fanfiction writer for ToS that hasn't played through the entire game! You also have to remember that 99% of Fanfiction is AU, so it doesn't necessarily follow the main storyline, as you'll see._

-Did I just take a tiny look at the game and decide to slash these two?  
_ Okay, first off, I didn't 'Slash' them. If I did, this wouldn't be allowed on due to content level (Though I am sick enough to write something like that!). I put them together in a relationship. Two, I didn't just take a _tiny_ look at the game. Three, I'm definitely not the only one who could see this pairing happening, and I know the game kind of supports it too, in its little subliminal ways . Yes, I'm crazy and I read between the lines, but I personally thought there could have easily been something going on._

-Genis isn't that troubled. Lloyd doesn't hate anybody in the group. And Colette's really quite strong in character.  
_ At the point at which this story is written, I noticed a few things personally about the characters. First off, Genis seems like he's keeping a lot of troubles of his own hidden up, and as far as I know he never actually talks about how much getting hit all the time does or doesn't hurt him inside! I don't believe his obsession with studying was ever fully explained. There could be alternate reasons for it, as written beforehand. Second, I never said Lloyd HATED anyone. He never said he hated Colette, just that he thought Genis was a stronger person, and Genis merely thought that Lloyd hated him because of how he treated Genis at times. As for Colette, yes, I do agree she's quite strong with her emotions and has a powerful opinion, but you must compare her overall with Genis, and that's where Lloyd gets his words on the matter. Aside from that, he was caught up in the moment, as you'll see, should you choose to actually continue reading_

And as for what's still to come...

-I always thought Genis almost seemed more grown-up in his desires and mentality than Lloyd... that's just my opinion, but...

Now, since I'm ALL done that (That's an entire page on word, right there, people!) it's time to get on with the story!

--2: On The Road--

Nobody had slept much that night. Genis and Lloyd had slept beside each other, the smaller mage curled up in the older boy's arms, and Kratos had been stuck watching over them while Colette and Raine were discussing where to go next, trying to discern where the locations in the Book of Spiritua were. Eventually, they too fell asleep, and Kratos ended up staying awake the entire night.

The next day, though, they were over the mountain and into new territory, and unfortunately, there was no clue as to where they were to go, except for a long dirt road leading to no-one-knew-where.

"Raine, you're smart" Lloyd spoke up. "Don't you have any clue where this trail leads?"

"I told you, no" Raine sighed, smacking Lloyd on the back of the head playfully. "Now stop asking. I've never been up this way before. It's... exciting, being in a new land like this."

"What about you, Genis?" Lloyd turned and looked down somewhat.

"Oh goodness to..." Genis sighed, putting a hand on his forehead. "There should be a house of salvation a few hours walk from here. We can get directions there."

"Oh?" Lloyd paused. "How come you're so certain all of a sudden?"

"Because I've seen maps of this place" Genis growled, slightly annoyed. "If you cared to study for once... maybe look at a book in your spare time..."

Lloyd put on a frustrated look. "Genis, why didn't you tell me this the first time I asked your sister?"

"'Cause I like seeing you get smacked" Genis smiled. Actually, he did, because it was just his little pleasure from when he had been suffering beforehand.

Colette giggled a bit, as Lloyd smacked Genis over the back of the head. Genis grabbed onto his skull, whining.

"Well, how does that feel?" Lloyd growled, still walking.

Genis wondered if, for a moment, the whole thing between him and Lloyd the previous night had been a dream, but then as he looked up to Lloyd again, a sad and disappointed look on his face, that possibility left him.

Lloyd realised how sad Genis looked, and almost instantly took a step backwards and picked the kid up in his strong arms, startling the boy. "Hey-what?"

Holding him in his arms, Lloyd kissed the top of Genis' skull, through the purple hair, where he had hit him. "There, all better"

Colette giggled again, as Lloyd set Genis down, and the boy was as perky as he normally seemed to be.

Kratos sighed, lost somewhere in the back of the pack, silent and unnoticed as usual.

"You two really should try and stop doing stuff like that" Raine sighed.

"What's the matter?" Lloyd looked back at his teacher. "You're not... _jealous_ of your little brother, are you?" he asked, with a brilliant smirk.

Seeing his sister was too far away, and as how he had always wanted to try it, Genis jumped as high as he could and bopped Lloyd a good one while he wasn't looking.

"What the... Genis!?" Lloyd turned.

"My sister was too far away" Genis explained, smiling.

Lloyd sighed, turning back to Raine, expecting a proper answer. Raine told the others to go on ahead a bit, while she tried to explain privately to Lloyd. Genis wanted to stay, but Kratos grabbed onto the back of his clothes and dragged him along.

Finally, seeing they were far enough away, Raine turned to Lloyd. "Okay, Lloyd, listen. First off, if you're going to know _anything_ about having a relationship with my little brother, there are three major things that you can not forget."

"Yes, those being?" Lloyd asked, calmly.

"First off, you're breaking Colette's heart by doing this, you know that? She _loves_ you, Lloyd"

Lloyd looked down at the ground, guiltily. "I know, but... I dunno. I love Genis a lot more than I love her..."

Raine continued, shutting Lloyd up. "Second, a lot of people don't exactly take nicely or feel totally comfortable around two people of the same gender who fall in love. So if you act romantically around Genis while in public... remember that we're all totally acceptant of this kind of thing, but in other places people could insult you or even attack you guys."

"...Is it a bad thing, then?" Lloyd asked, concerned. He had suddenly got the idea into his head that being with Genis could be a bad thing, from what Raine said.

"I don't want you to think that" Raine said quickly. "It's just that a lot of people don't feel comfortable around people that prefer to love their own gender... Look at Kratos. If you haven't noticed, he... he's not totally acceptant of this kind of thing. Makes him nervous."

"...Ah, I think I see" Lloyd said. "And three?"

"Three..." Raine sighed. "My brother is twelve years old. If you try anything _adult_ with him, Lloyd, I will come after you with a vengeance. He's not old enough for that kind of stuff."

"...anything... adult?" Lloyd blinked, then he leaned in towards Raine, a predatory smirk crossing his face. "You're talkin' about sex, right?"

"You don't have to be so blunt!" Raine blushed, taken aback by how forward Lloyd was. "But... yes... I mean, love is supposed to be possible without sex, so... just don't you dare lay your grubby little teenager hands on any part of my brother they're not supposed to be touching! Or any other part of your body for that matter!"

Lloyd blinked, blushing a bit. "I didn't mean to"

"...You didn't?" Raine blinked, surprised.

"Well, yeah, professor. See... it's like you said. Love is supposed to be possible without sex... I mean, it's not exactly like your brother's all grown up and super-sexy yet..." Lloyd admitted. "But I love him all the same"

Raine blinked, surprised again. Apparently she had underestimated Lloyd on this matter. Though she realised that nothing about Lloyd should surprise her. Despite the fact that as far as facts and information went, the boy was as slow as molasses in January, he actually had the mental capacity, emotional power, and common sense to actually be quite wise...

"...sorry" Raine admitted.

"Sorry for what?" Lloyd asked.

"Well... it's just that... you know! I mean... gods, how can I put this? I didn't think... I thought you were just after my brother like some kind of sex fiend..."

"...Is that really how you think of me, professor?" Lloyd growled, annoyed and insulted.

"No! Of course not!" Raine said quickly. "It's just... I dunno. You didn't seem capable of such a powerful emotion as love, but... you surprised me, Lloyd. I'll admit that. And I'm sorry."

"Now you're starting to sound like Colette" Lloyd sighed.

"I am?" Raine blinked.

"Yeah. You just said sorry twice within the last thirty seconds."

"...Oh dear"

"Come on. Let's catch up with the others" Lloyd smiled, turning and quickly starting to jog to catch up with the others, who were a fair distance ahead.

"Of course" Raine smiled, waiting for only a moment or two more before running to catch up with the rest of them. She was pleasantly surprised at Lloyd... and then she realised something.

"Lloyd! I don't believe it! You actually listened to everything I said! Oh, if _only_ we were in class right now!" Raine shouted out, running quicker.

-----

Finally, a few hours later (as Genis had predicted) the group had finally arrived at the local House of Salvation, and Raine finally had Genis alone, up in the bedroom they had reserved. She had to speak to him on the same matters, she knew.

"...Genis..." Raine turned to her younger brother.

"Yeah, sis?" Genis asked.

"...What do you think of Lloyd?" Raine asked.

"You don't wanna know" Genis laughed nervously, as he studied one of the textbooks he had found in the building, reading with his mouth in an effort to memorise the chant to another magic spell.

"I'm your sister, Genis, I have a right to know" Raine smiled.

Genis growled. "Can't you see I'm trying to learn something?"

"...I can't believe I'm saying this, Genis, but shut the book and come talk" she spoke up, rather forcefully, with a powerful command in her voice.

Genis froze in mid-word, surprised at the tone in her sister's voice. He shut the book, and looked up towards Raine, acting almost mechanically. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"What do you think of him? How do you feel about him?" Raine asked, moving to sit down beside Genis.

Genis shuffled a bit. "...You haven't figured it out? Raine, you can't be that stu..."

"I think I do, but I want to hear it from you" Raine said.

"...I love him, sister... I really do. I know he's mean to me sometimes, but that was only before he knew how much it hurt me... and all this time I was torturing myself because I couldn't manage to speak to him about that and how I felt... I still think he's a bit of an ass at times, I actually still like seeing you smack him once in a while... but..."

Genis let out a long sigh. "I just love him, because its his stupidity and his brashness and..." he muttered something under his breath, "...that makes him attractive."

"What was that, Genis?" Raine asked.

"That's what makes him attractive" Genis stated.

"No, no, just before that..."

"...It's his stupidity and his brashness and how damn sexy he is" Genis repeated, his eyes facing upwards, as if reciting from a textbook. Then he realised how loud he had said that.

Both Raine and Genis were stuck for words. Genis flushed a terrible red, curling up in shame, as Raine stared at him. She knew his brother was somewhat grown up... but...

"...Genis, do you _want_ him?" Raine asked.

"Sis! Why do you ask all the tough questions?" Genis whimpered.

"...Genis, answer me."

"Yes, I do!" Genis spoke back, looking slightly tearful. "And I know that's wrong because we're both guys and I'm so much younger than him and I shouldn't be thinking like that and... and... and..." he choked on his words and started to cry, ashamed of himself and his feelings.

Raine wrapped an arm around her little brother, pulling him close and letting her lean on his shoulder, as she took a moment to digest this information. What a twist... They both loved each other, yes, but the older one didn't seem to have much of a sexual craving for the other, while the one too young seemed to make up for that. Of course, it was probably because Genis had a much more grown mind...

Besides, Genis had actually been exposed to stuff like that a year ago, and that was her own fault (she should have never left one of her romance novels out in the open!) but that wasn't the important thing now.

What mattered was her little brother.

Raine gently rubbed Genis' shoulder. "It's okay, Genis... you've got nothing to be ashamed of..."

Genis whimpered, his words coming out highly choked and broken. "It's just... Raine... I'm too young... I want to... but... can't... mad... just want... want to be... with him... oh... guh..."

Genis started sobbing full out at the thoughts, and Raine pulled him closer, understanding. Of course Genis was too young, but...

"You love him, don't you?" Raine spoke the first thing that came to her mind.

"Yeah!" Genis managed to get out that very fast, clearly, before he returned to sobbing, the rest of his response coming out in fragments. "I love him... love him so... so much, sis... like life..."

"Then do you really _need_ to be with him like that, if you love him?" Raine reasoned. She knew there was no way _she_ could fix the problem. The only thing she could do was help her brother to understand that he had to accept it...

Genis didn't respond, too caught up in trying to make sense of it. Of course Raine didn't want her little brother going about and doing stuff like that, because she, just like everyone else, thought he was just the innocent little kid... even with what he had just told his big sister, she still thought that way about him.

Genis felt another one of those familiar surges of disappointment mixed with self-hatred. He _hated_ being so young, everybody would pick on him and give him no respect at all...

Genis broke down fully, finally, his whole body quivering, and he didn't even hear Raine aside from muffled sounds because his ears were covered with his still-torn sleeves, and he didn't make an effort to try to ask Raine to speak louder. Even the feeling of his sister comforting wasn't enough, because his whole body was going numb.

Faintly, Genis thought he heard somebody open a door and come in, announcing something loudly. _Lloyd_, Genis thought. _Why now, why does he have to see me crying like this...?_

Quickly, Genis tried to stop crying, as best he could. He started to push himself up into a standing position when a much stronger arm replaced that of his sister, and he was pulled in the opposite direction, a bit farther, his head resting on Lloyd's chest.

"...Genis, you alright?"

Genis flushed, embarrassed that Lloyd was giving him all this attention. But it did feel good, Genis had to admit, being so close to Lloyd. He could feel the older boy's muscles underneath his clothing, which had been toned from all the travelling they had been doing. Not to mention Lloyd normally was quite fairly built because of his constant battle training and such.

Genis quickly found himself calmed, his tears flowing away, and he looked around to see if his sister was still there. She had left at some point, and looking around he spotted a new set of clothes to replace his current ones. He blushed a bit more when he realised that Lloyd had brought them up. They looked awkward, they were certainly clothes made for just common children. Annoyingly enough, Genis realised they were just his size.

Genis sighed, deeply. "Thanks, Lloyd, but you didn't have to take up your own time to..." he looked up towards Lloyd, who was staring down at him lovingly, worry across his face that had been caused by Genis' tears.

"Hey, I love you. This is nothing" Lloyd smiled, making Genis' heart light up. "You know, I brought you some new clothes... I can leave while you change if you want..."

Genis flushed a bit, twisted thoughts running through his mind, but he decided that perhaps his sister was right. Still, his childish side that was with him, only added to the adult sense of mind he had, and he decided on a compromise. "No, it's no problem" he smiled, getting up from his love's lap (and catching the whimper of disappointment from Lloyd) as he grabbed the clothes, moving behind one of the beds.

"No peaking" Genis called over, before he ducked down behind one of the beds and began to strip out of his torn clothes, putting the new ones beside him on the ground.

Just as he slipped into the underclothes and trousers, he heard the door swing open.

"Hey, Genis, we just found out that there's a big library where we're headed" Raine called out, happily, standing in the doorway. Instinctively, Genis stood up, but because of his short height and his lack of shirt, Raine thought he was missing more than just that.

-----

"EEEK! LLOYD IRVING!!!"

Colette and Kratos were outside, underneath the stars, looking to the cosmos as they lay on the grass, almost side-by-side.

"...Kratos, what was that?"

"Just Raine. Don't worry about it" Kratos sighed.

"Oh. Okay" Colette smiled, looking back up at the stars.

-----

Lloyd fell backwards onto the bed in front of Genis, as Raine flew madly towards him. "What the hell were you trying to do my little brother, you pervert!"

"Nothing!!" Lloyd shouted, jumping behind Genis and pushing him forward, using him as a shield against the oncoming attack.

"AAH!" Genis put his arms in front of his face, in part to brace himself if Raine actually did collide with him, and the other half to cover up the blush at the feel of Lloyd's strong hands on his sides.

The blow didn't come. "Okay, good. You're wearing pants. What's going on?" Raine looked at the two.

Genis lowered his arms. "I was just changing into the new clothes that Lloyd had brought me..."

"...Lloyd?" Raine looked at the older of the two, and finally Lloyd realised that he could stop holding Genis out as a shield. He let his arms fall away from the boy, his ears picking up the whimper of annoyance from Genis. He was tempted to put them back, indeed, embrace the kid even stronger, but he had a feeling Raine would not leave him without a bruise on every inch of his body if he did such a thing. Actually, he thought Raine might whack him senseless anyway, but maybe now he had a chance to survive without a scratch.

"Umm... just what he said. I didn't see anything!" Lloyd defended quickly.

Raine put on a cautious face, before reaching down and picking up the shirt of the new outfit and tossing it to Genis. "Here. Put your shirt on" she commanded, and Genis did. Raine looked at Lloyd. "You're lucky, I'm not gonna do anything to you this time... but if I ever catch you doing something like that to my brother again..."

"He wasn't doing anything!" Genis spoke up. "...Raine..."

He looked at Raine, with a look that asked for understanding, and Raine understood. Of course she was blaming Lloyd... her brother couldn't do anything wrong in her eyes...

"...Sorry" Raine sighed. "Sorry, Lloyd."

"See, you're doing it again. Acting like Colette"

Raine growled.

"Sorry!" Lloyd quipped out, quickly, and Genis couldn't hold it back any more. As he finished putting on his shirt, he began to laugh happily.

-----

"Okay, so since I managed to convince the priest to let us use his room, we've got two rooms, each with one double bed... umm..." Raine flushed. "Me and Genis are gonna share one bed, and..."

"No! Sis, that's not fair!" Genis whined.

Raine looked awkward, she hated having to be the mature one and make some of the toughest minor decisions. Like who slept in the same room as whom. "I dunno. Fine, I guess" she sighed. "Genis and Lloyd can share a room, and me and Colette will share one..."

There was a loud 'ahem' from behind her, startling her. She turned to see Kratos, who looked impassive as normal, but she could tell he was annoyed.

"...And Kratos can sleep outside with Noish" she announced.

Genis giggled a bit, as Kratos sighed, muttered "again...?" and left without another word. Raine gave a sharp look to Lloyd that just _screamed_ 'Lloyd Irving, if you try to do anything with my little brother...' and then gave a caring look to Genis before turning to head for the bedroom to catch a rest, Colette already having gone ahead.

"...So I guess we're sharing a room" Lloyd smiled at Genis, as they walked into the room together. Lloyd removed his two swords, putting them down on the ground, as Genis, tired, settled down underneath the covers.

Lloyd let out a long yawn, looking out the window, before he turned to the bed, stepped out of his shoes, and crawled under the covers, wrapping his arms around the little boy and planting a kiss on the boy's forehead.

Genis smiled, snuggling up instinctively closer to Lloyd, in his state of half-sleep, and Lloyd smiled at the innocence in his arms.

Lloyd knew that even if he didn't think of Genis as being _sexually_ attractive, at the very least, Genis was so cute that nothing else could match it.

-----

In the room beside, however, things weren't going so perfectly.

Colette was softly sobbing, trying to keep herself quiet so as not to disturb Raine, who already seemed to be asleep. She was wrong, though, Raine wasn't asleep. In fact, she seemed to be quite awake, as she rolled over to face Colette.

"Colette? What's wrong?" she asked.

"...I..." Colette let out a long sigh. "I dunno... I just... I just miss having the feeling that Lloyd loved me, even though it was incorrect... I mean, I'm happy for him, because I'm sure he's very happy, over there, falling asleep with your little brother... but... I dunno. I think Lloyd was the only one who loved , you know that's not true" Raine sighed. "We all love you, and you know it."

"No, I mean... _loved_ me" Colette whimpered. "...I'm sorry, this is foolish, please, forget about me, I don't want to burden you with my own problems..."

"No, it's perfectly okay, Colette" a soft hand rested upon Colette's shoulder, drawing her back a bit. "I know how you feel. But at least you know what it's like to think somebody's in love with you... I've never had the pleasure."

"...Oh... professor..." Colette blushed a bit.

"Please, don't call me professor anymore" Raine sighed. "Just Raine"

"Okay" Colette nodded, as the two fell asleep, the heart of the angel chosen momentarily calmed.


	3. Sudden Concern

Five Things, Before We Begin:  
1) Thank you to my reviewers. Nice to know you guys support me . and since this is , there will NOT be any NC-17 stuff, however, if you leave me your e-mail in the review... Grin  
2) To the reviewer that still insists on disliking me - I wonder why you continue to read this if you don't accept my view of the characters. What you seem to fail to realise is that, this being FANfiction, it is not being written by the original authors of the story. I write the characters to my views of them, and if your views are different, then I accept that, but I ask calmly now for you to stop pestering me about it.  
3) This chapter contains a couple hints of Kratos spoilers! Just to warn you. Of course, you probably won't pick them up unless you already know Kratos's secrets, but yeah.  
4) Considering as how she so graciously promoted mine, I must return the favor - Go read 'Age is Nothing but a Number' by Xeora if you like the Genis/Lloyd pairing . And if you're up for some other pairings, I'm busy writing tons of ToS Shonen Ai pairings... and if you can come up with one, let me know! I'll see about it .  
5) This chapter is actually fairly short, but don't worry, the next one will be longer... it's simply that the two chapters together would be much too long, so I split this one off...

**--3: Sudden Concern--**

"So, um, where are we headed?" Lloyd asked, as he joined Genis, Raine, and Colette in the downstairs of the House of Salvation, where the priests had happily served them some cooked meat.

"We're headed for Asgard" Raine informed him, as Genis was too busy munching away on a leg of chicken.

"Asgard, huh? That's to the west, right?" Lloyd sat down beside Genis, looking around to see if there was any chicken left, but he couldn't find any immediately. His attention was more focused on getting a proper answer.

"Yes, Lloyd, it's too the west" Raine nodded, sighing. "It should take us about two days to walk there, so we'll be camping out in the wilderness again..."

Lloyd grumbled something, sighed, and noticed that Genis was holding onto a fresh leg of chicken. Though uncertain, he was hit by the oddest of thoughts, and on some unknown impulse wrapped his arm around Genis' shoulder, grabbed onto the boy's wrist, and leaning in close he moved the chicken to his own lips and bit in.

"L-Lloyd! W-what are you d-d-doing?" Genis stuttered out, blushing just enough to be highly adorable.

Lloyd swallowed the chunk of meat, grinning widely and stupidly, as he replied. "Having breakfast, of course."

"Get your own chicken" Genis whimpered.

"Why? Yours is so much better" Lloyd hugged the boy closer and bit in again, and Genis flushed. Was Lloyd... flirting with him? His blush only deepened when he realised it was true.

"...G-get your... um... ah... here..." Genis's small hands grabbed a piece of chicken from a tray beside him, handing it to Lloyd, while trying to pull his own breakfast away from Lloyd's mouth.

Of course, Lloyd was having a lot of fun and wasn't about to give up. He lifted the piece Genis had given him and hung it in front of the younger boy's mouth. Genis blinked when he saw it there, and then flushing worse he took a bite. He had to admit that it felt much tastier when it was being fed to him by Lloyd.

"...You two..." Raine sighed. "Do you have to do that in public? We're in a House of Salvation here! Travellers come here all the time! Anyone could see, and..."

"Raine, let them have their fun" Colette whispered to Raine. The professor blinked and turned. "They're in love. Let them be."

"...I..." Raine blinked, confused and uncertain, and she was thankful that she was interrupted by the door to the dining room swinging open.

Standing there was a very drenched-looking Kratos, muttering and growling and cursing something awful under his breath.

"...Oh, hey Kratos" Lloyd smiled innocently, barely taking notice of the state of the mercenary, as he took another bite of the leg of meat.

Kratos growled, popped down at the end of the small table, reached over and grabbed a leg of meat for himself - which wasn't hard, as there was a fair amount left, since the priests were under the false belief that the chosen needed to eat.

"How was your night?" Lloyd mumbled, as Genis fetched him another piece and held it up, letting Lloyd start eating that one.

Kratos muttered a swear, and Colette and Raine both started.

Genis used his free hand and smacked Lloyd on the back of the head. Lloyd blinked. "What? What did I say, I..." he looked to Kratos and took note of the mercenary's state. "...Oh."

"I hope you guys slept well too" Kratos muttered, rolling his eyes, and looking at the two flirting males. He took a couple more legs of chicken and stood up. "It was so excellent out there I think I'll finish breakfast out there too, thank you" he turned and left.

"...Oh, now look what you've done!" Raine muttered. "You two should stop flirting and apologise!"

"But we're having breakfast" Lloyd whined, and for once, Genis supported such a stupid excuse with a nod.

"Besides, its too early in the morning and I'm feeling lazy" Genis whined between bites.

"...Genis, you're making excuses too?" Raine gasped, amazed. "Lloyd, just what have you done to my brother!?"

Before anything could start, Colette stood up. "I... I'll go talk to him, okay?"

"Huh? ...Okay" Raine nodded. "I know I should, because I feel really guilty about leaving him out there like that, but..."

"I'll tell him that" Colette nodded, as she turned and left.

Genis and Lloyd, of course, were totally oblivious, too busy cuddling close to each other and sharing a meal.

"...Kratos?"

"Yeah? What?" Kratos turned, looking calm, as he tried to dry himself off with a towel that one of the priests had lent him.

"...I came to say sorry."

"Sorry? You haven't done anything" Kratos sighed. "You're the nicest one out of the whole bunch, Colette."

"...Umm, thank you!" Colette beamed. "But, I mean... I came to say sorry for the three of them... Lloyd and Genis... I'm sorry, they get caught up in each other, it seems. And Raine said that she feels really sorry for leaving you outside like that."

"..." Kratos didn't respond, he merely nodded, as he sat down against a wall outside and took a bite of the meat, slowly chewing it and mulling over what reaction he should take.

"...You... aren't very comfortable with Lloyd and Genis, are you, Kratos?" Colette asked, pondering.

Kratos shook his head.

"...I'm sorry, I know... Raine said that not everyone is comfortable with that kind of thing, so... umm... sorry" she apologised.

"...Lloyd's right," Kratos said as he gulped down a chunk of meat, "you do need to stop apologising for everything. It's not your fault."

"Well, I... I don't want you to hate either of them or anything, okay?" Colette asked, worriedly.

"...Why would I hate them?" Kratos shrugged, lowering his piece of meat as he tried to explain it to the comparatively dim Colette. "It's their choice to fall in love, isn't it? I'm just worried about all the harsh treatment Lloyd is going to get if their secret gets out in public..."

"...Are you worried about Lloyd?" Colette blinked. "I thought you didn't worry about anyone."

"I do. Just not very often" Kratos said matter-of-factly. "I know Lloyd's happy now, but the fact is, though, that if he starts to regret his actions, it's going to cause the both of them a lot of unnecessary grief."

"...You're really concerned about him, Kratos..." Colette blinked. "...I've never seen you worry about him... why did you change so suddenly?"

"...None of your business" Kratos shook his head, taking a bite out of his meat again.

"Kratos... do you like Lloyd too? Are you jealous of Genis?"

Kratos's face went bright red at the suggestion of such a ludicrous idea. It was the only time anyone would ever see him flustered and honestly, truly surprised. "...No! I'm not jealous! Of course I'm not jealous!"

"How cute!" Colette giggled, her teenage girl side coming out full force. "Don't worry, Kratos. I won't tell Lloyd or anyone else."

"Colette, no, that's not...!" Kratos stood up, but by the time he had managed to do that, Colette had already gone off. And she had her mind set on it. She wouldn't believe it, of course. She was annoyingly naïve in his opinion.

The red-haired mercenary gave off a long sigh. That wasn't why he was worried about Lloyd at all... but it was better than telling them the truth.

Soon enough though, Kratos rejoined the others, dried up (somewhat, anyway - his clothes were still uncomfortable) and they left, to continue their journey.

And elsewhere, someone was watching from the shadows, listening to their idle conversations. She knew that Colette's bodyguards would have to be taken care of prior to her assassination. And to do that... perhaps there was a way that she could use their relationship against them...


	4. Dancing With Illusion

And once again, Before We Begin...  
First, thank you to all my supporters! I WUV you guys . and that's why I'm doing the contest... Of course, don't forget about Karma! The faster you review the faster I respond! ...Assuming doesn't unfairly remove my stories and ban my uploading for a while...  
Second, there is a bit of a high-rated scene here (It's still R, don't worry!) but that is your WARNING so please don't freak out and flame me for it!  
_(PS: I'm currently holding a random Shonen-Ai based contest-type thing while looking for new pairings... - go check out my Author Profile for details! Genis Irving)_  
Spoilers: Umm... Sheena spoilers! Just to let you know! Nothing too serious though.

--4: Dancing With Illusion--

Time dragged on, battles merged into one another, and by the end of the day, with no sign of Asgard in sight, the group was more than definitely ready to camp out and get a meal.

At that time, however, Raine proceeded to rain down a crushing bit of news on the group.

"So, when do we eat?" Lloyd asked, his stomach growling.

"Yeah! I could do with a meal!" Genis perked up, happily, and then his face fell when he saw an awkward look on Raine's face.

"...Er... it's been a while since our last visit to Palmacosta, since we came here right from the Water Seal, and... we... I don't think we have enough" Raine put her arm behind her head, visibly shaken.

"...We what?" Kratos' eyebrow raised.

"What if we stretched it? Shouldn't we have enough then?" Colette asked. "We'll be at Asgard tomorrow anyway..."

"That's the thing" Raine shook her head. "Even if we stretched it, there'd barely be enough to get the four of us through the night, never mind Kratos and Noishe..."

The large, big-eared dog whined.

"Well, then that won't do. There's got to be some food out here" Lloyd pointed out, looking into the forest near them. "Bet you anything there's probably berries or something in there that we can eat."

"Hmm..." Raine thought. "Well, I suppose we could, but..."

"Then I'm on it! I'll be back shortly, you guys set up camp!" Lloyd waved behind him as he took off in the direction of the forest.

"L-Lloyd!" Raine started, calling after him, but the boy was already gone into the thick, dark trees. And apparently he wasn't hearing her. "...Well, that's just great..."

"Lloyd will be fine" Colette said, naively. "He's used to walking around in forests and stuff..."

"Except that there are tons of poisonous fruits and herbs out in forests" Kratos pointed out, sighing. "If we let him pick by himself, we're likely to get food poisoning!"

"Same if we let Raine cook!" Genis joked, and then he let out a yelp as Raine bashed him over the head.

"Oww... sis!" Genis whimpered. "I get the hint! You guys set up camp. I'll go find Lloyd and make sure he doesn't kill us all..."

"Genis... I'll go too" Raine started, but Kratos looked at her.

"Let Genis go. We need to set up camp and guard the chosen, because now is the kind of time where that assassin would come after us again."

"...Yes" Raine nodded. "Come on. Let's get a fire going and everything, before it decides to rain..." she caught Kratos' shudder out of the corner of her eye and felt guilty again, but decided to just ignore that for the moment and continue about her work.

The purple-robed assassin hid among the highest leaves of the trees, watching Lloyd innocently looking around.

"...It's a shame I have to do this. He's a good guy, and we could have been friends... but I have to save my land..." she whispered, silently, as she concentrating, gathering up the energy around her.

Lloyd hummed to himself as he knelt down, inspecting a bush with strange, tear-shaped red berries.

"Hmm... at times like this I really wish I had've listened to Raine..." he muttered to himself. "I don't think we've ever had these before... maybe I'll bring some back, and if Raine says their poisonous, we can just throw them away..."

He smirked to himself, at his brilliant idea (brilliant for him anyway) and picked a few berries, going to stand up.

He was promptly knocked over when a hard, blunt weapon struck him in the back. He stumbled forward and dropped the freshly-collected berries on the ground, trying to regain his footing and his breath at the same time, as he turned to see who or what had attacked him.

Needless to say, he was shocked when he saw Genis standing there, holding his Kendama roughly, a menacing look across his face.

"...Genis? Why did you do that?" Lloyd asked, his mind trying to think of one of the hundreds of possible explanations.

"Revenge, Lloyd Irving" Genis growled out in a tone that Lloyd barely recognised. It was the same angry, rough tone that Genis only adopted when speaking about, or to, Desians...

"...Revenge? What did I do to you?" Lloyd asked, scanning Genis up and down, looking for any sign.

"The first one was just running off like that... and this!" Genis swung the weapon around, and the attached ball swung around and caught Lloyd in the forearm, bruising him a lot more than Lloyd had expected from such a weak weapon, wielded by the young attacker. "This is just the first one to make up for every time you've hit me!" Genis growled.

"Genis... that hurts!" Lloyd complained, holding onto his arm where Genis had hit him, only for another blow to be landed to his fingers. Lloyd gave a shout of pain - after all, it felt like the weapon had just smashed the bones in his fingers to pieces.

"It's only fair, for all the blows you've dealt me, I'll deal one back to you" Genis growled, swinging the Kendama back then shooting it forward suddenly, smacking into Lloyd's knee and causing Lloyd to buckle and fall backwards.

"Genis, stop it!" Lloyd shouted back.

A cruel, twisted smirk shot over Genis' face, as he unleashed his attack again, this time aiming for the other side of Lloyd's body and damaging his other arm, getting another pained shout from Lloyd.

"What did I do to deserve this, now?" Lloyd demanded.

"It's too much, Lloyd" Genis growled. "Too much. You know how long I've loved you... every single time you hit me, you made me want to die! I think it's only right that you feel that pain too!"

The Kendama whipped around, smashing into Lloyd's side, just underneath the elbow, and Lloyd felt a powerful surge rush through him, as the impact bruised his sides. Now, though, it was only getting more and more painful; because Lloyd's emotions were being impacted by the powerful blows as well.

"Genis, stop!" Lloyd cried helplessly. He knew he was being attacked, but Genis' words packed such emotion and power that they made Lloyd feel as though he deserved it.

And he loved Genis. Even if Genis were going to kill him, he couldn't fight back. He couldn't hurt Genis.

"Ahh! Lloyd! Wh... What are you doing?" Genis shouted, as his shirt was greedily pulled off of him by older hands.

Lloyd was looming, almost dangerously, over him. There was some maddening look in his eyes, the same look he got whenever he seemed to be annoyed with Genis... except it was amplified and then mixed with love - it looked like... the only word Genis could find for it was _lust_. Genis noted to himself that if that was what lust looked like, he wasn't suddenly so sure that he wanted to see that look on Lloyd's face ever again.

A strong hand pinned Genis' back to the tree behind him, and Genis gave a rough shout of pain as he felt the tree's bark biting into his back harshly, tearing open the frail skin on his back.

"Lloyd!" Genis gasped out, trying to understand what had suddenly come over Lloyd. The way Lloyd was acting... Genis had an idea of what was going on. He didn't like that idea at all. He didn't like the idea of being raped by Lloyd.

"What's wrong, Genis?" Lloyd's free hand gently rubbed along Genis' side and then along his young, under-developed chest, teasing one of the boy's nipples. "I heard what Raine was talking to you about last night, I know that you want this..."

Genis gulped. That couldn't be right! Lloyd wouldn't do something like this, would he? Not with such force, not so _dangerously_... this couldn't be Lloyd!

Yet it looked and sounded like Lloyd, Genis' mind reasoned. It even acted like him - which was confirmed when Lloyd forced a kiss upon the innocent boy, trying to get Genis to open up. Though Genis wasn't sure he wanted to open up and mingle tongues with Lloyd when he was acting like this, the Sage boy's mouth opened anyway and he allowed Lloyd in.

All the while, Lloyd's free hand was sliding lower and lower, and was now gently rubbing Genis' rear. At the same time, though, one of Genis' hands was resting over his Kendama. Something told him this couldn't be Lloyd - but this illusion kissed just like him...

_It can't be Lloyd! Lloyd would never try to do anything like this to me without my permission!_

With that, Genis' hand gripped his weapon and he based Lloyd in the side, making him stumble off.

"Genis, the hell was that for?" Lloyd growled, startled, as Genis' hands grabbed onto his shirt, pulling it on quickly.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Genis shouted as he stood up again. "Keep your hands off me!" he protested, though it was ignored as Lloyd pressed himself up against Genis, forcing another kiss on the younger boy.

"That's funny..." Lloyd whispered as they broke away. "I thought you liked this..."

"You're not Lloyd! Get away from me!" Genis slammed his Kendama into Lloyd's chest, taking off. A moment later, he heard the sounds of someone pursuing him from behind.

Lloyd looked up, his whole body aching, bruises coating his body from the constant assault.

"Genis, stop!"

"I'm not done yet!" Genis growled, pulling back the Kendama, before thrusting it forward again. This time, it was aimed towards Lloyd's skull.

Lloyd's arm, on reflex, grabbed for one of the swords at his side, and he drew it quickly, slamming it into the steel orb of Genis' weapon, thus diverting the attack. Lloyd stood up, holding the weapon at his side.

"Genis, stop!" Lloyd commanded.

"I said, I'm not done!" Genis growled, pulling back as his weapon seemed to fix itself, and he aimed at Lloyd again, swinging his weapon wide.

"You're not Genis!" Lloyd growled, as he slammed the blade into the Kendama with all the force he could muster. He heard a powerful clang and the sound of something cracking.

The orb of the Kendama shattered beneath his eyes. Genis recoiled in horror.

"Lloyd! Breaking my weapon! Why would you...?" Genis started, but Lloyd cut him off, an angry look on his face.

"I don't know who you are, but you're _not_ Genis!" Lloyd shouted, raising his blade as he drew the other one.

"Of course I am!" Genis pouted, angrily waving the Kendama at his side with the exact same hand gestures that Genis would have done. It was hard for Lloyd to think that this was a fake. "What would make you think I wasn't?"

"The real Genis loves me" Lloyd stated, pointing one blade at Genis. "He would never attack me like this. He's not a brute, he's smarter than that."

Genis backed up, afraid. "Lloyd... you... I am Genis! How can you not believe me about that? You're... going to attack me, aren't you?"

"You're not Genis. If you don't want me to kill you, I suggest you start running" Lloyd growled, lunging towards Genis, as the light-haired boy took off running.

Lloyd jumped into the brush, following Genis, as the other boy ran, surprisingly fast. Of course, he was much more easily able to duck under branches. As the two went deeper in, the path was becoming more and more thick with branches and plants, one of which Lloyd swore nipped at his ankle as he passed.

Genis dived into a mass of bushes, and Lloyd charged into them, only to find himself thwarted. Quickly, not wanting to lose sight of him, Lloyd slashed into the branches, cutting his way through them as quick as he could, then running forward.

Genis was outside of his vision, he couldn't see the boy anywhere. Frantically, Lloyd stepped forward, looking for sings of movement.

Then he heard something. Off to his right, somebody was running...

Lloyd charged forward, jumping into some bushes and right through them, and he raised his blades when he saw Genis there, startled, in front of him, his shirt missing.

"Ahhh!" Genis screamed, jumping backwards, as Lloyd swung down.

"I'm going to kill you..." Lloyd growled.

"Stop it! You're not Lloyd!" Genis shook his head, and then taking a stand of courage, he reached for his Kendama. "You're not! So go away!"

Lloyd blinked. Wait a second... there was something not right here...

A moment later, it dawned on him. Genis' Kendama was whole, not shattered.

"...Genis? Is that really you?" Lloyd's swords fell to his sides.

"I'm not falling for that!" Genis backed up nervously. "You're not Lloyd!"

"Genis, it's really you, isn't it?" Lloyd asked.

"How can I be sure it's really you, Lloyd?" Genis growled.

"Ask me something. Anything. About our pasts" Lloyd smiled.

"Okay. Why were we exiled from Iselia?" Genis demanded.

"Because we are enemies of the Desians" Lloyd put his hand on his hips, as he sheathed one of his swords.

"...Lloyd, it is you!" Genis gently returned his Kendama to its place on his belt, as Lloyd sheathed the other sword. Happily, Genis leapt into the other boy's arms, knocking him onto his rear, and the two shared a strong kiss as they embraced each other. Lloyd's hands gently rubbed Genis' back.

"Genis, you... thank god..." Lloyd held the little boy close. "I..."

"No, you don't need to say sorry or anything..." Genis whispered softly. "We were both tricked..."

"By who, though?" Lloyd asked, as he looked over Genis' shoulder. Genis did the same, turning his head.

The two broke apart quickly, though, as they saw two figures standing there, twisted images painted over their faces.

They saw themselves, or, at least, twisted mockeries of themselves.

"Genis..." Lloyd tried to draw his sword, but now exhaustion at his physical activities and physical pain was really setting in, and he was unable to stand up like Genis had done.

"Stop fooling around, we know that this is an illusion!" Genis shouted.

The two images let out a long, rough laugh, and they faded into nothingness, shifting and swirling to form a new figure. It looked like some kind of psychedelic blob for a moment; it soon became a more recognisable figure.

It almost looked like the strange beast that the group had fought back on the Ossa Trail - after all, it had the strange circular wheel-like structure upon its back, and it was floating on a seeming cloud, though its tone was very dark and misty.

"...That is..." Lloyd whispered.

"I've got this one, Lloyd" Genis said, stepping forward, grabbing his Kendama.

"Genis! D-Don't... you can't fight him!" Lloyd complained back.

"Of course I can" Genis smiled. "Besides, if I didn't protect you, what kind of a boyfriend would I be?"

Lloyd flushed red, as the strange guardian monster began to float towards them, obviously intent on causing them harm.

Genis flipped his Kendama up and down in the air a couple times, a magic circle shooting from his feet outwards, glowing brown, as he continued to bounce the Kendama up and down.

"Pancake Time! Stalagmite!" Genis shouted, as he shoved the Kendama forward.

An earthquake seemed to shake the ground, and the guardian paused, confused. A moment later, a rift opened in the ground below him, and then huge spikes of ground convulsed upwards, spearing into the guardian and sending it high into the air. As it fell back down, its form faded out into nothingness.

Genis breathed hard for a couple more moments, as the magic circle disappeared from under his feet. He stepped backwards, and Lloyd caught him in his damaged arms.

"...Genis..." Lloyd smiled.

"See? ...Lloyd, you... you're hurt!" Genis finally realised, looking at Lloyd's arms and seeing the pain on Lloyd's face.

"It's... it's nothing" Lloyd said, but already Genis' young hands had undone the buckles on the straps of his pants, pulling them off of his shoulders, and tugged at the buttons on Lloyd's shirt, stripping it off of him.

Lloyd couldn't help but blush, and neither could Genis - after all, they were both halfway to being nude before each other.

"Genis... you don't have to..." Lloyd began, scared of the fact that Genis seemed to have become frozen as the younger inspected the older.

"...Lloyd, we need to get you to Raine. You're really beat up..." Genis said, grabbing onto Lloyd's shirt and tucking it under his arm, and then beginning to help Lloyd up. Lloyd stumbled a bit, and Genis caught him, finally trying to find a comfortable way for Lloyd to be leaning on Genis' side.

"...Thank you, Genis..." Lloyd smiled. "I..."

"...Lloyd, I just realised something" Genis muttered, as they continued to walk, and Lloyd noticed that Genis was increasing his pace.

"What's that?" Lloyd asked, blinking.

"That thing... didn't it look like the monster we fought on the Ossa Trail?" Genis asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"...Lloyd, the assassin woman is here!" Genis's pace picked up, and Lloyd forced himself not to show any sign of pain as he struggled a bit to put up with Genis.

"Colette... they're all in danger!" Lloyd stuttered. "Leave me, Genis, go help them"

"Nuh-uh" Genis shook his head, as he slowed down a bit. "We're going together. I know the others should be able to hold out..."

"...Thank you, Genis" Lloyd whispered, as Genis continued to half-drag him along.


	5. The Seal

A/N: Sorry for not having updated in about a month (Shame on me, the Genis/Lloyd fanboy, I haven't written Genis/Lloyd in a while now!). Anyway, I began to think about this fic and I realised something. I honestly don't know where to end it. Which means that I'm probably going to end this off really suddenly. And though it's been a long wait, you guys are probably going to like this. The Angsty feel is going to make a bit of a comeback, but... well, this fic's about to take a very sharp turn, perhaps for the worst (as far as the character's luck is concerned)...

By the way, I wish to apologise for any 'Kratos bashing' in this fic. I'm really sorry! I do like Kratos. Seriously! But he's just the fall guy in this fic, since Zelos isn't around. Though I like him too!

Anyway, yeah. Sorry for the long wait! But it's a good thing I waited so long, because I got the most sadistic, greatest idea ever...

Genis Irving

--5: The Seal-- 

As Genis and Lloyd approached the campfire, they could already hear the sounds of combat. Quickly, their pace quickened, despite their injuries, and soon the small clearing came into view. As they reached the edge of the woods and emerged, there was a sharp female cry.

"Mirage Seal! Life Seal! Pyre Seal!"

The sounds of a harsh slap reached the ears of the two boys, and a large figure flew towards them and crashed into the tree beside them. As both the younger mage and the older swordsman watched, Kratos slumped to the ground, a bit of blood staining his face and his features, and apparently unconscious.

"...Some mercenary he turned out to be..." Lloyd sighed, then looked around and surveyed the scene.

Colette was panting against a tree, trying to catch her breath. Her clothes were torn in a couple places, one chakram lay broken at her feet, and the other was barely being held onto. Bruises coated her body, and her wings kept flickering on and off, as if she could barely keep them there.

Raine was in no better shape, apparently. Though she had the strength to stand defiantly in front of Colette, and she was shaking, with her staff held defensively between her hands, she didn't look like she could take much more. Her eyes kept shutting for just a moment or two then reopening, as she fought unconsciousness.

"Hey! You! Stop!" Lloyd shouted, reaching for his swords and drawing them, jumping out of Genis' help and stumbling a couple times as he tried to run towards the assassin, who was standing proudly, two cards floating in mid-air in front of her and twirling about mischievously.

"L... Lloyd?" Raine blinked, swaying on the spot.

"Lloyd, you did come for us..." Colette smiled.

The woman turned and shook her head. "So you two survived? Wow. But you're too weak to take me on like this... Pyre Seal!" she gave a shout as Lloyd reached her, and the two cards flew out forward and struck Lloyd's bare chest at once, erupting in flame. An explosion racked the boy's body, and he flew backwards, just as Kratos had.

Genis flailed about for half a second before he caught Lloyd, the force still pushing both of them back into a tree. Then they both crashed down onto the ground. The young mage felt a couple wounds having been opened up on his back, and had to catch his breath from Lloyd's impact. Beside them, Lloyd's shirt fluttered onto the ground, having fallen out of Genis' arms.

"G-Genis, are you okay?" Lloyd finally coughed out, once he had his own breath back and had sat up, and he looked at the young mage who was still trying to recover. Gently, he pulled the other boy up and let him lean on him.

"Well, isn't that just a cute little show of camaraderie?" the assassin woman smirked, having approached them the entire time while they were recovering. "Inspiring, isn't it?"

"Don't do a thing to my little brother!" Raine tried to shout.

"Oh, be quiet" the assassin rounded on Raine for an instant, and in that moment Lloyd dashed forward and thrust out with a Supersonic Thrust.

The sword struck the assassin's side, and she gasped in surprise, before pulling herself off of the wound. She let a hand fall, inspecting the blood that was flowing out, and a look of annoyance crossed her face. "Hmph. Well... that about does it!"

She charged suddenly, grabbing her cards from mid-air as she did, and driving them both into Lloyd at once, with a cry of "Serpent Seal!"

Lloyd's body stiffened for a moment and he fell back, suddenly feeling strength disappear from his arms, and one of his swords fell at his side. "Wh... What the...?"

"Lloyd!" Genis cried out from beside him, going to catch him, but the assassin advanced again, slamming her cards into Lloyd again. "Mirage Seal!"

Lloyd's mind spun, and his eyes felt dizzy. He swore suddenly that there were more than just one assassin coming after him – there were two. No, four... he tried to convince himself that it was only just one, but all four in his vision were moving towards him again.

One more attack, with a cry of "Power Seal!" and Lloyd crashed backwards, panting heavily, falling into Genis' arms, who struggled a bit to keep Lloyd up and to brace himself against the weight of the older boy, but he managed somehow.

"Lloyd! Lloyd, comeon, we have to fight!"

"G-Genis... I can't... see straight... can't... can't..." Lloyd panted out, before half passing-out in his love's arms.

Genis held onto Lloyd, gently shaking him. "Lloyd? Lloyd, come on, wake up!"

"Genis, you have to fight!" Raine tried to command him, but that only succeeding in getting the attacker's attention.

The unnamed female growled, and pointed her fingers at Raine. The two cards flew her way, a trail of wind stirring up behind them. Then there was a cry of "Cyclone Seal!" as both cards attached to Raine's shoulders, and she was launched high up in the air, just to crash right beside Colette.

The angel girl shook with fear. "R-Raine! Professor! Come on, professor, wake up!"

For a moment, the assassin felt a very strong urge to show them mercy, to let her pity for the kind girl took over, but then as she looked at Colette's wings, she was reminded just what she was here for. She advanced upon Colette.

"...Pl-please... don't... why are you doing this?" Colette pleaded.

"I have to" the assassin explained. "Let's just say... that your quest isn't going to save everyone."

Colette was about to voice her confusion, but already the assassin was in front of her. The two cards slammed into Colette's chest, and she was knocked sharp against the tree just behind her, and she fell unconscious. A bit of blood leaked over her forehead, and her angel wings flickered out behind her.

The assassin smiled, contented with her work.

_I'm so scared... please, all of you, don't die on me! I... I don't want you all to die! This isn't supposed to end up like this... please, I need strength... please..._

The female assailant approached Colette, noticing the girl was still barely breathing. "...Still alive... well..."

"Burn! ERUPTION!"

The ground split apart just behind the assassin, and she was caught in a sudden gush of flame that leapt up from the ground, burning her steadily, and then the spell was over.

Genis held onto his Kendama, an angry, but fearful, look on his face. The look of a cornered animal who knew there was no choice left but to fight.

"...I knew I should have taken care of you first, kid," the assassin did a U-turn, rounding on Genis, and advancing menacingly.

Knowing there was no time, Genis tried to focus on his next spell. _Come on... Spread, spread, spread, spread..._

His nerves kicked in as he saw just how close his opponent was coming, and the kendama fell loose at his side. The boy simply froze up. The female loomed over him menacingly. Beside them, Lloyd began to stir again, weakly.

"Spirit Seal!" came a cry from the woman, and one card smashed into Genis' chest. The boy felt something pulled from him, and realised almost instantly what it was – his mana. The sudden change in the natural force threw him off, and he stumbled backwards, weakened.

"G-Genis..." Lloyd's whisper didn't even make a sound above the footsteps of the assassin, who was approaching his younger love.

"Force Seal!" Sheena growled, and one card flew out and began to circle Genis quickly. The boy looked at it dizzily, then tried to step backwards, away from Sheena. The card zapped into him from behind, giving his body a sharp jolt and thrusting it back into its former position. Even after that, it kept circling, daring Genis to move.

_I'm scared... help me..._

The assassin smiled. "You're a good kid, but you understand, don't you? I need to do my job..."

"Let... Genis... Go..." Lloyd huffed out, but he could barely move, and his words only faintly reached the younger boy's ears.

_Lloyd, please... please, don't let me die..._

"Time..." the assassin pulled back, the card erupting in a ball of flame, and Genis shut his eyes.

"DON'T HURT HIM!" Lloyd's voice shouted.

"SEAL!" the assassin's voice screamed.

The two words were shouted at once. Genis threw his arms up in front of his head, to block the attack that never came.

Then, finally, the boy opened his eyes, slowly at first, then he realised just what had happened.

Lloyd's silhouette was standing in front of him, glowing a dark light that hid his features. In truth, the older male was trying to scream against the pain that he was in, his body held in place by the attack.

The assassin was amazed. "How... where did you get the strength to move so suddenly like that??" she demanded, seriously startled by the sudden movement by somebody she had thought was right out of it. The card that had been surrounding Genis zoomed back to her side.

_Lloyd... you... saved me..._

Then, suddenly, the light was gone, and Lloyd fell backwards into Genis' arms, and Genis noticed that Lloyd suddenly had become seemingly a bit lighter, or something. Either way, he couldn't see straight enough to figure out just what had changed – all he knew was that something was a bit different.

Lloyd was breathing in his arms, and Genis diverted his gaze from his love up to their attacker. She seemed... confused. "Why... how...? ...Perhaps... there's something more to you guys than I expected..."

Then, without any further explanation, she took off and disappeared into the forest.

Genis held onto Lloyd for a few moments, wondering if the woman really was gone. Then his energy gave out and he collapsed, falling right beside Lloyd.

As Genis awoke, slowly pushing off of the ground, he had to think a million things about just why his body was in such pain. A million questions ran through his mind – staring off with "Am I dead" and "Am I okay?" and then quickly moving on to "Where's Lloyd? Is he okay?"

Genis reached up and rubbed his eyes, clearing them out and trying to calm down. Lazily, he looked around, confused beyond belief, and somewhat scared too. It took a moment for his settings to register, at which point, he jumped back a couple inches. "Wah! Raine! Don't scare me like that!" Genis shouted, because Raine had been staring him right in the face.

Raine smiled, before pulling Genis close and embracing him in a sudden, desperate hug. Genis flushed a little red and squirmed. "Wh-What...?"

"I'm... glad you're okay, Genis," Raine whispered, apparently trying to fight back tears. "...When I blacked out, I was so worried... you didn't wake up for so long... I thought she might have..."

Then Raine just broke right down on her younger brother's shoulder, and Genis held onto her. He had to admit, he was scared for his sister, too – but he had hardly thought about her at all when he had woken up. All of his thoughts had been about Lloyd. His mind wondered if that made him a selfish, evil person.

But even as he was thinking it, Genis' mind wandered back to the subject of Lloyd's welfare. The last he had seen, Lloyd had taken a serious hit for him, when he was already barely able to move. Which again brought up the question the assassin had asked: how did Lloyd do it? The boy seemed to become superhuman when the moment was right. He _had_ saved Genis at the last moment from falling off of the cliff, even though there had been several meters between them. So how...?

"Raine, where's Lloyd? Please, tell me he's okay" Genis asked quietly, as Raine calmed down. As she heard the question, she pushed off of Genis, and couldn't quite meet the boy's gaze.

"...Raine, tell me Lloyd's okay! Please!" Genis whimpered, shaking a bit. "Please, please tell me he's okay!!"

Raine tried to say something, but she couldn't get any sounds out. The boy tried to read her lips, but the movement was so small he couldn't make anything out. He was becoming nervous quite quickly, and he felt his hand starting to shake at his side. He didn't even want to start to think about what could be so horrible that Raine wouldn't be able to tell him. Normally, she didn't have too bad of a problem delivering bad news or putting the realistic pessimism back in the group.

That's what scared Genis the most.

"Raine! Please!"

"...I don't know if he's okay... you... have to see for yourself..." Raine couldn't meet her brother's eyes as she lifted him onto his feet, and carted him across. Along the way, Noishe began to follow them. At the same time, Kratos was busy casting first aid spells repeatedly on Colette's many wounds. The girl smiled at Genis as he walked by, but when the boy didn't respond, she didn't make any further movements.

Finally, they turned towards a sheltered area, where they had spread out a tarp overhead to protect what was underneath. In there lay a small pile of blankets and the rest of the group's materials.

"...Where is he, Raine?" Genis asked, concerned.

"..." Raine looked away again, and just pointed down, towards the sheets. Cautiously, Genis approached them.

There was no sign that Lloyd was under them, except for the slight rising and falling, as the boy breathed underneath. Genis wondered just why they had covered up Lloyd like this (it seemed more like they were trying to smother him). Beside the pile of sheets was Lloyd's shirt and his overalls, his two swords and his long white scarf. Genis gulped, and listened, trying to find Lloyd's head.

Then, slowly, he leaned down and rolled back some of the sheets.

As he revealed Lloyd's upper body, he saw that the boy was uncovered, and stopped, inspecting it. At first, Lloyd seemed okay. He was only a bit bruised up, with a couple cuts on his body. There were a couple blood stains in his hair and around his wounds, but that was only to be expected. He seemed quite peaceful, and his chest was rising and falling softly as he slept.

Genis gently smiled and admired the form below him, looking over the beautiful form beneath him. He remarked how youthful it seemed, even with all those bruises... how much the body reminded him of his own in some ways...

That's where the thought processes stopped, and it all clued in. There _was_ something wrong with Lloyd...

Genis gasped and stepped back as he realised just what it was.

Lloyd's hair was fallen and unkempt, and short. His body wasn't developed, his limbs were thinner and more youthful...

"H-How... he... doesn't look any older than I do!" Genis shook a bit, shocked. "Raine, what happened?"

"I think it's one of the spells that the assassin put on him," Raine hypothesised. "I remember seeing him this young once before in Iselia... before we all knew each other. I'm guessing... he's gone back to being about 11."

"11? Then... he's younger than I am..." Genis shook his head, looking at the boy below him, then finally crouching down at Lloyd's side and putting a hand on that of the now-younger boy. Footsteps walking away told him Raine had left them alone for the moment.

There were barely any sounds for a couple minutes, and then, suddenly, Lloyd stirred just a bit. Genis' heart leapt into his throat. He doubted Lloyd would take becoming a kid again very easily, but he was there to help him. Nervously, he looked down at Lloyd, as the boy slowly opened his eyes, blinking cluelessly and innocently, then looking around and spotting Genis.

"Lloyd, you're awake!" Genis smiled, looking down at the youthful form below him, happy he was there.

Slowly, Lloyd sat up, and pushed the covers off. Genis didn't want to look right away, but eventually his eyes strayed – and found Lloyd was wearing a pair of (Genis') shorts. Genis reddened just a bit but kept from saying anything, and forced his eyes to look back up at Lloyd.

"...Huh? Where am I? What happened?" Lloyd shook his head, a clueless look on his face as he voiced his questions. He seemed very, very confused about something.

"Don't worry, Lloyd, you're okay, you're safe..."

Lloyd turned and looked at Genis, who lifted Lloyd's hand up and held it with both his.

"You..." Lloyd began, but Genis cut him off.

"You don't need to say a thing, Lloyd. You're okay," Genis smiled, gently.

What next came out of Lloyd's mouth was not expected by the mage.

"...Who are you?"


	6. Shattered Memories

--6: Shattered Memories-- 

"Who are you?"

Genis' heart skipped a beat when he heard it, and then, it stopped beating entirely for a few moments. His entire body froze, his mind stopped working, and his grip on Lloyd's hand loosened.

"...W-What?" he asked, in disbelief.

"Who are you? Why are you holding my hand?" Lloyd asked, confused.

"...You... don't... know who... I am...?" Genis gulped, releasing the now-child's hand, sliding back just a bit, concern painting his face. He prayed in his mind that what he thought was wasn't, that this wasn't really happening...

"No. Should I?" Lloyd asked, totally clueless.

"We... I... and... you... and..." Genis tried to stutter out something comprehensible, but nothing came out except mindless blabber. Then his mouth shut, and he looked down towards the ground.

The boy's body shook slightly, as he fought back the sudden urge to break down crying. What good would it do? He... couldn't start by crying... this Lloyd was innocent, this Lloyd didn't even know him...

In the back of his mind, the answer came to him. This was Lloyd, before he knew him. His memory, his experiences, everything had been wiped right back to before they had met. What had taken years now to build up and had only now reached its peak... had shattered in five instants.

"Hey, you okay?" Lloyd asked, concerned. He was confused about who this lilac-haired kid was, but the child was depressed and looked about to cry, and Lloyd never liked to see anyone cry.

"I'm sorry," Genis suddenly looked up, shutting his eyes for a moment tight, then opening them again, putting on a face of happiness. "I'm just, glad to see you're back awake, Lloyd..."

"...Who are you?"

There was that question again, striking in the back of Genis' mind and stabbing him straight through the heart.

"I'm... Genis."

"Okay, then, Genis. What am I doing out here?" Lloyd asked.

Genis shook his head, trying to think of a way to explain it, but it was all escaping him. He kept trying to concentrate on that answer, but he felt something else fighting back, something inside of him wanting to break down.

_I have to be strong... I have to be strong..._

"I... well, that is you... umm..." Genis tried to explain.

"I'll explain," Raine offered, suddenly walking into the scene, and startling both boys. "You go get some firewood, okay, Genis?"

The look she gave Genis, however, told him immediately that she had been watching – and she wanted to give him a chance to get away. He tried to make a note to thank her later, but for the moment, he turned away and tried to keep strong as he walked into the trees again, disappearing.

Behind him, he could hear conversation.

"You are?"

"I'm Raine. A... travelling companion. You can call me the professor."

"Well, professor, what are we doing out here?"

"Have you ever heard the story of the Chosen of Mana?"

"Yes, of course I have. Everyone has."

"We're escorting the Chosen on her journey."

"What? But the Chosen isn't supposed to be old enough for another six years! That doesn't make sense!"

"Well, ah..."

Genis didn't catch the rest of it, he was too far gone. He could barely hear their voices in the back of his mind, and then, not even there. And the moment he knew he was too far away, he collapsed.

Landing hard on the ground, instantly the tears that had built up shot out, refilling his eyes and dripping down his cheeks. And he just sat there and cried, as it all set in.

"So, you are?"

"My name's Genis Sage."

"Genis, huh? Well, I'm Lloyd. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, same."

The sound of a ruler smacking against the front of a desk alerted them both. The teacher stood over them menacingly, running a hand through her hair. She growled. "So, Genis, you're the new kid, right? If you want to have a hope of passing this class, I suggest you don't talk with Lloyd much. It would be a hazard to your intelligence."

There was a laugh around the class, and Lloyd protested this with an annoyed "Hey! Not true!"

The teacher loomed over him. "Oh really? What's twelve times twelve then?"

"Err... A hundred and thirty two?" Lloyd chanced a guess, having no clue as to the real answer.

"No, silly, it's a hundred and fourty four," Genis offered, shaking his head. The teacher seemed impressed.

"On second thought, maybe you should stay with Lloyd. He could do to learn a few things from a kid like you..."

Another laugh from the class.

"Hey, Genis, why don't you come down to the beach with me and some of the other guys?" Lloyd asked him as his head popped in the window of Genis' bedroom, startling the boy, who was busy tinkering away at a report.

"Lloyd! You know the professor said we had a project due tomorrow! I want to get an A on it, and if I go running off to play at a time like this..." Genis shook his head. "I don't have time, Lloyd."

"You really need to loosen up" Lloyd giggled, then reached out into Genis' room and grabbed the boy's shoulders, hauling him off the bed and pulling him through the window.

"H-hey! W-w-what are you doing Lloyd!? Are you kidnapping me!?! HELP!" Genis protested loudly.

"Huh? Genis?" Raine poked her head through the door, seeing her brother getting pulled through by Lloyd. "Oh no, Genis!"

It was the day that Raine took over for the former professor, who had left for the Palmacosta Academy in search of more education. Genis didn't know how to feel about his sister being the teacher.

"Now, then..." Raine announced as she walked through the door. "Since you all know, your previous professor has left. And so, I, Raine Sage, am here to replace her."

Immediately she walked up to the front desk, looking around and scanning faces. Lloyd leaned over to Genis, and whispered something in his ear.

"Hey, now you can get all the answers for me from your sister..." Lloyd joked lightly, and Genis giggled. Almost instantly, Raine was looming over them.

"Lloyd Irving, don't think for a second that my little brother's going to have any more of an advantage then any of you, simply because he is my little brother" and thus was the first time that Lloyd had been hit with an eraser during class.

"Genis, what's wrong?" Colette asked the pre-occupied boy, who was sitting by himself at lunch, sighing.

"Ah, just that it's odd, what with Lloyd being too sick to come to school today," Genis sighed. "I feel... really alone."

"Well, then why don't you run to Dirk's house to go cheer him up?" Colette asked, naïvely.

"Colette, do you know how far it is to _get_ to Dirk's house? I'd have to run there and then run right back and I'd still only have a couple minutes there!"

"I'll cover for you in class. He probably needs a friend right now," Colette offered happily. "They say that sickness fails in the face of a strong heart. And that if somebody's there with you when you're sick, you get better faster."

"That's just superstisions..." Genis shook his head, acting as if it was nonsense.

"Well, okay, if you don't want to. It's your choice, Genis," Colette told him, and then she stood up and walked away.

"W-Wait! Colette? Umm... I take it back. Can you tell Raine I went to see Lloyd? I..." Genis shifted uneasily a bit, uncertain what had possessed him to do such a rebellious thing.

"Oh? Okay!" Colette smiled happily. "Go, Genis!"

Sitting next to each other under a tree, staring up at the moonlight, the two boys were laughing happily and sharing stories.

"...Hey, Genis, look up at the moon," Lloyd smiled, pointing up, and the boy followed his gaze.

"Wow... it's really full tonight..." Genis blinked, smiling innocently. "Everything's so calm..."

"Yeah. It's so nice to have such a good friend to share it with..." Lloyd smiled, pulling Genis close suddenly, and the younger boy was shocked, as he found Lloyd hugging him from the side. The younger mage rested his head on the older's shoulder, letting off a bit of a sigh, still staring up at the moon.

A shooting star shot across the sky above them, and they both gasped simultaneously.

"Hey, look, it's a shooting star..."

"Actually, Lloyd, that's what we call a meteorite."

"Genis..." Lloyd bopped the younger on his head. "Don't you know anything? It's a shooting star, and you're supposed to wish upon a shooting star."

"...Okay" Genis smiled, and thought to himself about what to wish for.

One thing came to mind, immediately, and he mouthed it silently, before he even knew what it was.

_I just want to be with you, Lloyd... forever..._

At that point, ten days before the events that had led to Iselia's destruction, Genis had realised just what their friendship meant.

Genis kept crying, as those memories and so many more floated through his mind. All the ways he had seen Lloyd grow and change over time. All the things he had been with Lloyd for, all of the things Lloyd had been with him for.

Memories of watching Lloyd learn how to fight with a sword. Memories of going down to the beach and playing games. Memories of laughing with Colette during class. Memories of getting smacked over the head by the older male.

Memories of Lloyd encouraging him as he practised his magic. Memories of Lloyd coming to all of his birthdays and always bringing him something he made. Memories of Lloyd helping him when he was injured.

Memories of those moments in which their friendship shone. Memories of a budding romance between the two.

Memories of things so recent as maybe a day ago, when there was still something between them...

As each memory floated through Genis' mind, it brought another tear to his eye. He knew what had happened, and he knew he had to accept it. He had to support Lloyd. But...

Knowing that every one of those memories was now his alone, knowing that Lloyd could not possibly remember the years they had built their life upon, knowing that it was quite possible that such a bond could never be formed again...

Genis couldn't stop the tears.

"So he... doesn't remember anything?" Colette asked.

"Not exactly," Raine answered simply. "That assassin woman transformed him back six years. Before he knew who any of us were. He has all of his memories before that, but... all of the ties we had with him, all of the bonds we made, they're gone."

"Then, that's why Genis was so upset..." Colette looked over towards the forest. "Raine, aren't you going to go get him?"

"Colette..." Raine sighed, shaking her head no. "Genis has to find the strength to deal with this on his own, right now, I think."

"What? Raine, how can you say that?" Colette demanded, shaking desperately and waving her arms in the air in front of her. "What if you were Genis right now? Wouldn't you just want somebody there to hold you? Raine... you know what Genis tried to do once! That just can't happen again!"

Raine's voice caught, as she realised Colette was totally right. "...Yes. I'm sorry," she sighed, then turned and walked off into the forest.

Kratos sighed. "...Some bonds, though..."

"Did you say something, Kratos?" Colette asked.

"No," Kratos shook his head.

"...Are you depressed because Lloyd doesn't remember you? Since you're in love with him and all?" Colette guessed, tilting her head curiously.

Kratos bit his lip for a moment as his hands balled into fists. "I told you! I'm not in love with m... with Lloyd!"

"It's okay, Kratos. It's nothing bad. Just stay strong, okay?" Colette perked up happily.

"Wh... why do I even stay with you people?" Kratos sighed, ducking his head down into his hands in an exasperated sigh.

Then Raine returned, suddenly. "Wait, have you two seen Lloyd? He disappeared all of a sudden..."

"Nope," came the simultaneous response.

"... Oh no..." Raine gulped.

Genis tried to calm himself down, to keep himself from continuing crying, but he found it impossible. Every time he tried, a memory of Lloyd he hadn't thought of before surfaced. Even the most painful of his memories – those odd occasions where Lloyd would treat him like dirt – those were things that Genis never wanted to let go of.

_I have to stop crying... why can't I stop crying? I'm so pathetic... I... I can't ever do anything for myself..._

"Hey..."

Genis barely heard the concerned voice behind him, and then, suddenly, somebody was sitting down beside Genis. The boy barely paid any attention, until he was pulled up into a sitting position by some unfamiliar hands.

"...Who...?" Genis barely murmured out, and then he looked over.

Lloyd was sitting there, concern on his young face.

That look just made Genis break down even harder, and he found it almost impossible to breathe between his choked sobs. He faced away from Lloyd, not wanting the boy to see him cry.

"...Listen, ah... Genis..." Lloyd hoped he had got the name right. "Genis... don't cry, okay? Come on now, why are you crying? What's so bad?"

Genis' body shook with anger. He knew it wasn't Lloyd's fault, but all this time there had been something in the back of his mind that was hoping that there was still the old Lloyd in there _somewhere_. Now, though, just by seeing that face of his that was completely clueless, that the Lloyd he knew was erased completely.

Genis collapsed onto Lloyd, who was startled. "I... I lost somebody very precious to me... and... I don't know... if I can ever get that person back..."

Surprised and put off by the sudden movement, Lloyd didn't do anything for a few minutes, before he pulled Genis up and pulled the (now) slightly older boy towards him, letting his head rest against his chest. He heard Genis let out another strong sob.

"Hey, I might not know much about you... but... I'm pretty sure it'll be okay in the end. 'Cause it usually is. So... try and cheer up, okay? ...Genis? ...Hey, Genis, you okay?"

The vocal sobs had stopped. Genis had cried himself to sleep, finally, though there were still tears coming out of his eyelids.


End file.
